I hereby declare, this day on 19th March 2017, that I am not a feminist. Instead, I quite simply, fairly, and logically believe in gender equality. I hope to rejoin the sisterhood one day, but until it’s no longer in Vogue, literally, I will be right here disassociating myself from the “cool” marketing product that Feminism has become.
As Jesse Crispin, author of Why I Am Not A Feminist, points out, “Feminism is trending,” and here is all you need to do to be a cool feminist in 2017:
For a charitable, sorry I mean profitable, $650(USD) you can join Feminism down Commercial Avenue and show your support to the equality movement by donning this jumper just to show how cool and Feminist you are:
You can also join Queen B and show you’re support to the movement by shouting “I woke up like this” with a blustery face full of perfect curls standing like a leader in a legless leotard talking in vulgar prose about dick.
I may be jealous, but I woke up partially naked with morning breath, eyebrows sprouting in all directions, dried dribble down my face, and then slowly and reluctantly walked to the shower while resembling nothing more than a sloth. That’s how I woke up; like most normal women and I managed to go without the vulgar prose, too.
You can be all the more feminist if you stand in front of big bright lights that spell F.E.M.I.N.I.S.T. with someone saying, “Feminist”. You, therefore, are definitely a feminist – while wearing one of those t-shirts that say “Feminist”. Definitely feminist.
You may also sing from the top of your lungs, “who rules the world? Girls!” But, no, we don’t, and if we did that’s not equality that’s segregation from men and that’s not what I want. I like men.
So I say no, thank you. We have steered away from the “radicals, heavily invested women, who did the hard work of dragging women’s position forward usually through shocking acts and words,” as Crispin says, to a feminism that is now associated with celebrities capitalising on the movement.
I might call myself a feminist again when women are able to dance to Robin Thicke, wear a short dress out on a Friday night, paint their nails red, and look forward to getting married and not have their feminist label questioned.
Yes you can do all of that, because if you believe in gender equality then the colour of your nails, the length of your dress and the music you listen to are not the same as your beliefs.
Can you imagine the revolution for gender equality if Beyonce stood in front of the word feminist on stage and said “we should be teaching rapists not to rape, before telling women not to wear stilettos out while alone after dark with their whistles and rape alarms in tow”? We could change the attitudes on rape culture and stop putting women at the forefront of the resolution in the time it takes Beyonce to walk on stage.
Maybe if on stage, in front of the word feminist, the world was informed that deaths by domestic violence in the USA tops the number of deaths caused by 9/11 every 3 years, and that honour-killings are still prevalent worldwide, significantly in countries such as Pakistan and India where there are over a 1000 deaths a year alone, then perhaps the word feminist would be humbly reinstated and brought back down to earth as a fight for gender equality and not commercial gain.
Take a look at Jessa Crispin’s Why I Am Not A Feminist