We seem to subconsciously accept that a woman on her period is the hungrier, angrier, PMT ridden craze ball version of the nice person she was last week, who, for the safety of the community, has tucked herself into the sofa with Ben & Jerry’s as she cries at the TV while feeling sorry for her pains and barking at passers by.

I thought hard about why I have been accepting these false truths about women on a period, and I realised that it’s generally because of the attitudes we are exposed to towards women on periods. It’s been ingrained as a given that women on a period are ‘hormonal’ and ‘scary’, and this rubbish has been very lightly challenged.

Ignoramuses might argue that this is a feisty piece and that I am probably on my period, but haha to them, because I am not…I am just a feisty one.

You are going to place yourself so highly once you’ve read this, as you’ll be armed with facts to throw out there as you re/discover that women actually have something resembling magic, which takes place in a fireworks box that comes with a “can go off anytime over the next 7 days” guarantee. This menstrual cycle could, I believe, take many a strong man down.

The first fact is that women on their periods are not actually hormonal, but are simply less tolerant of fuckwits during that one week of every four.

Many women are capable of maintaining a calm and collected composure; the kind of composure that resembles those ladylike characteristics that are assumed to be found in women by the patriarchy’s often pre-historic standards. For 3 weeks of every 4 most of us, I perhaps can’t be included, do very well with said composure…

When our energy has been used up elsewhere, however, such as when we internally prepare for the moment an egg is fertilised in our womb so that 9 months later we can push an eight pound baby out of our lady garden I think a slip in temperament is justifiable.

So let us remember, if you diagnose a woman as hormonal because she is displaying less tolerance and patience towards you, then it’s probably because you said something so stupid and intolerable that what energy would normally be available for tolerance has indeed been used up to, more importantly, procreate.

Let us look at periods as a physical inconvenience that forces you to take a ‘break’:

I have established that women are a walking hormone producing baby making machine for most of their fertile years (in addition to being everything else), which must be very tiring.

Follicle Stimulating and Luteinizing hormones, READ ON…DON’T FALL ASLEEP AT THOSE WORDS, are released from our brains with a message to our ovaries that it’s time to grow and mature those eggs we’ve been storing.


The follicles in our ovaries then start to pump up the oestrogen causing the ovary wall to eventually burst setting the strongest 1 out of the 400,000 eggs you magically house in your ovaries on it’s travels to your womb.

Your egg then has 24 hours to be fertilised by the strongest Hercules of the sperm group. On this journey, the womb’s lining is filling up with blood in preparation for the fertilised egg to embed itself in the lining when it arrives. If it isn’t fertilised, though, in 10-16 days your period will begin.

This is the womb realising that you don’t need the lining or the nutrients that it has prepared to house the foetus in and so it flushes this lining out of you – only to begin the entire process all over again.

Let it be of no surprise to anyone now, then, that you might be feeling a little bit tired, grumpier and hungrier than usual, because you have just had a waterfall of nutrients and womb lining escape you as your body cleverly, and energetically prepared itself to grow life.

Ah, so this is also why it is diabolical that tampons are not yet a woman’s right to have free access to, let alone tax free? I heard you ask…

Yes. We are not only paying for the bloody things, pun intended I suppose, but actually pay tax for a product that captures this blood flow which we have housed in ourselves while our body prepared itself to bring another human into the world, which men have also taken quite the role in. They should be free, or at least tax deductible! Women, especially for those who are not of the first world living comfortably in a house, should always have access to the sanitary products that she is forced by nature to use.

So there you have it. I hope you feel more informed for the moment some fuckwit comments on your period.

Sign the campaign that already has over 200k signature to eradicate tampon tax here.

Here are some more fun facts for you, which I obtained from the Ted Talk that you can watch here.


Resources used, that I strongly recommend looking at:

Huffington Post and the cost of periods

The Ted Talk Menstruation lesson


2 thoughts on “Periods: The False Truths YOU Need to Know

  1. There has to be SOMETHING that’s good about getting older – and not going through this every month is the only thing I’ve found so far that is!


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