Are you a narcissist? No. It’s bollocks.

Narcissus, the Greek God, saw his own reflection for the first time in a pond and fell deeply in love with it. After realising that his love for himself could not materialise, and that he would not find a love satisfying enough other than the love that he had for himself, he committed suicide.

We have chosen this Greek God, who also thought so highly of himself that he met people with contempt and disdain, to refer to someone who posts a selfie more often than socially acceptable. I think that’s a bit harsh, don’t you?

We might call Kim Kardashian a narcissist, for example, who mockingly titled her book of selfies selfish. Quite funny, I thought, and good on her for feeling good about herself. It is known that she was bullied for her curvier curves as a teenager, and she often has her body and appearance nastily criticised still. If you’re thinking the $1,000,000,000 helped, you’re probably right, but that shouldn’t give us free reign to ridicule someone who is confident in themselves?

Similarly, we might look at a friend’s selfie on Instagram and think, ‘what a narcissist posting a photo of themselves when they are obviously under a light controlled by a dimmer with a contoured face and a filter’. It may be argued, in a negative tone, that the friend is, and perhaps Kim K was, insecure and needs ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ to build up their self-esteem and get some validation.

If that is the case, though, we shouldn’t be labelling them as a a narcissist, but egging them on and joining forces like a unit to make sure they know they look good, even if it’s with a simple ‘like’.

It’s a confusing world out there with all of these images of supposed beauty and perfect stereotypes. We, the average looking human on an average salary, should be defining beauty and perfection and showing that it comes in all different forms; not these multi-million $ companies who can airbrush and mould a woman’s hips to a width so small that even a baby ant couldn’t squeeze through.

Nonetheless, we are told to love ourselves from an early age in an encouraging manner. This is especially expressed as we get older and we discover the art of self-deprecation.

“You look great in that dress, have you lost weight?”

“Oh no. If anything I have put it on! I mean, look at my cankles! (quick, think of a fat joke and then tell them that they’d look better in it)”

The art of self-deprecation I would say is expected to reach perfection by your mid-twenties. This is when you realise you live in a world where mild modesty is the best policy, as is having a humble take on your appearance.

“You have marvellous legs”

laughs nervously

“no really, you do!”

“Why, thankyou. Yes, I do quite like my legs”

“Wow, you’ve got a big head”

We are living in an era where women and men are being encouraged to love, appreciate, and be thankful for the shape and size of their every feature with campaigns such as the All Woman Project (found on Instagram), yet they are deterred from saying anything positive about themselves aloud or even in the form of a selfie thanks to this subconscious state of fear we are in trying to avoid society’s judgments. We have to be a part of a # or a campaign to get away with positively acknowledging our assets.

However, I say embrace what you think is awesome about yourself today by showing it off. Let’s feel comfortable posting that selfie without fear of that nasty word narcissist, because we are all pretty beautiful in our own unique way.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘speak for yourself’. Oh stop it 😉

And if that is you posting that selfie today because you woke up and thought, ‘I think I look pretty good today,’ then bloody well done and congratulations! It has probably taken you years to come to the realisation that you are not going to look like Kendall Jenner when looking at the cover of Australian Vogue because even Kendall Jenner doesn’t look like Kendall Jenner. You’ve perhaps come to realise that you can enjoy the shoot for it’s artistic value rather than for your want to look like KJ, because you are now comfortable looking just like you and sharing that on social media even if it is perfected with an Insta filter.

That’s where we should all be at and we should be supporting that person in that selfie because they obviously thought they looked pretty damn good.

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One thought on “Are you a narcissist? No. It’s bollocks.

  1. Interesting read. On a slight side note, I fell in love with Caravaggio’s painting when I first saw his Narcissus work. It just blew me away. Stunning use of light and shade.

    I had never thought of people posting selfies as loving themselves before…I just figured they had no friends or were unable to take a decent picture. 😄 I wish the internet wasn’t so full of those kind of pictures as most of them are pretty rubbish.

    Like

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