I do not see as well without her. I do not hear as well without her. I do not feel as well without her. I would be better off without a hand or a leg than without my sister. Then at least she would be here to mock my appearance and claim to be the pretty one for a change.
Erin Morgenstern, The Night Circus
We are the very same two people who at age 13 and 15 thought that we couldn’t like each other, because something that resembled a descendant of the Devil in the form of a sweet looking child was not something to play with, but to avoid.
Mum bought me a beautiful rose coloured silk nightdress when I was around 9, but found that it was missing when I went to put it on that afternoon. Mum and I looked for hours, eventually phoning Etam in adamance that it quite simply must have been left behind.
Mum drove back to Lowestoft to pick up another nightdress courtesy of Etam, only to have to return for a 3rd time the following day with a rather embarrassing story at hand; my sister had found it, miraculously, shoved behind Mum and Dad’s headboard. Sophie had hidden it there in jealousy.
We have aimed, fired, and failed to punch each other in the face after Sophie pinned me up against her oak bookcase with her leg wedged in the midst of my lady garden, leaving my legs dangling scrambling for the floor with all of her might and 6ft.
I went home for Christmas ‘15, though, and I realised how lucky I was to have her. Odd, I thought. What is this emotion of sisterly love I am feeling?
This person who I had rediscovered is similar to me, but with these qualities that I lack. It is as though these qualities were put aside in the womb for when mum had her next child, and I was simply blessed with good looks 😉
I discovered these gorgeous qualities in her when we had our first trip away, just the two of us, to London. She has the deepest love for her family and friends, and an ability to express it with affection. This is not something I was familiar with. I am, instead, rather cold hearted and lack an ability to show affection.
No matter how many times mum invited herself on this trip of ours to London, we said no. Like the nice children that we are. I was 25 and she was 23. We took a two day adventure exploring Chelsea for brunch, and shopping along Bond Street.
We offered advice on the important things in life, such as “that dress makes you look like you need a shower,” and “you shouldn’t have experienced not wearing a bra for the first time today. It’s an English winter’s day, you knob. You could knock someone’s eye out.”
We had one of the most amazing nights out in London enjoying the company of new people and dancing as though it was our last chance to dance. The German stag party followed us to Tiger Tiger where we exchanged our mythical ‘knowledge of the London night scene’ (we are from Norfolk…) for drinks, thereby saving ourselves a fortune.
We laughed all of the way to Burger King around 1am before I passed out in the hotel with burger in my mouth. Sophie went on to record herself putting her finger up my nose with one hand while trying to get the burger out of my mouth with the other, and subsequently wetting herself with laughter.
You may think well this sounds like a standard night out with my friends, but there is, however, something different about the way we interact when we’re together. You know that what you say won’t be judged and that if you say something that you find funny she too will find it funny, even if no one else does. This is because you share the same weird sense of humour, I imagine.
Quite simply, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We are half of the same person, descendants of Heidi. We are likely to be thinking the same thing, because our chromosomes and brain cells are part of the same gene pool.
It is quite the revelation when questionable, controversial, simple, words come out of our mouths and we say, “I was literally just thinking that exact same thing.” Or, “that is just something that I would say.” Other non-sister people would perhaps say, “ah, yes, but no.”
Sisters share stories where the emotions that were involved don’t need to be defined, because we already know the emotions she felt. The conversations that sisters have are secrets, non-sensical, and sometimes serious. Sisters plot unrealistic, thought-provoking, fantastical endeavours while drinking wine, cocktails and tequila that if only the glasses could talk would anyone else know why they are laughing so hard.
I look forward to hearing from her, seeing her, picking her up from work, and spending everyday with her. With all of the components taken from the quote at the beginning – she really makes up the other half of me.
Life is fuelled by love when I am with her.